Addiction breeds dysfunction breeds dishonesty breeds unhealthy relationships. It goes on and on. The question of the year for me is "where will it end?" I have spent most of my life living in dishonesty, mostly about my motives and about who I really am. This is not usually intentional dishonesty, mind you. My inability to recognize the truth goes so deep that I am very easily able to believe that I am living a forthright life when in fact I am full of shit.
True honesty requires more of us than merely telling the truth. If we are to live an honest life, we must continually look for the motives that drive us to behave in ways that do not express our true selves. This is not an easy task. The pressures of our families and our culture can lead us to think and act in ways that express the expectations placed upon us, rather than letting our true selves shine through. I am striving to live an authentic life, one which feels right to me on a cellular and spiritual level. The quality of my relationships is directly affected by my ability to interact honestly with others. I do not mean the kind of brutal honesty that can be hurtful, but a frank expression of myself. If I am to reach the end of my life and feel that I had an existence that was meaningful, it is imperative that I continue to search for the truth, my truth. Not your truth or their truth, but my truth. But will I know if it is the truth, or more bullshit?
Exploring the depths of my being, hoping to shed light on the dark side of my soul.
I think you are trying to hit a moving target. What is your truth today was not your truth yesterday and most certainly will not be your truth tomorrow. For me, I realize that I grow in awareness of my surrondings with each passing year. I should be just about complete as I am passing into the light.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is a moving target. It's more like the onion, layer upon layer. And more will be revealed....
ReplyDelete