Just The Two of Us...Finally

I have come to believe that the “Empty Nest” syndrome is highly overrated. I hear stories of parents, mothers in particular, who feel lost, abandoned, aimless, when their kids leave home. I had my first child thirty six years ago, and until last week had one or more children and/or grandchildren living in the same house. I have fantasized about the time when they would all be gone on to find their way in the big world, on a different piece of real estate, never believing that it would really happen. Well, now it has.

In the 1970’s, The Walton’s was my favorite TV program. I loved it so much I actually named several of my children after characters on the show. Seeing the multiple generations living together on the farm gave me a warm fuzzy feeling after every episode. The big kitchen, full of three generations of women working to prepare the family meals seemed so appealing. When they all gathered at the table to discuss their problems, or sat around the radio listening to world events, I just knew I wanted my family to live like they did.

I lost track of the times that the shed next to the farm house was redone to accommodate one of the Walton children and their growing need for independence. It served as a private writing place for John Boy, a newspaper office (again for John Boy), a home for Ben and Cindy when they got married, and numerous other incarnations as the seasons progressed. When we bought our farm, I imagined the same kind of life for us. Our children were having children, and this was a place that could grow and change with the family. Sadly, life does not imitate art in the way that I would like it to. I imagined that we would be like the Walton’s, and in reality we are more like the Simpsons.

In my real family, the kids fight, run away from home, take drugs, won’t clean up after themselves, and generally conspire to drive me crazy. Thus my change of attitude toward the “Empty Nest” syndrome.

During the last season of the Walton’s, the mother is conspicuously absent. She is away “contributing to the war effort” and finally “in a sanitarium in Arizona because of her TB”. Then in the last few episodes, the father disappears, supposedly to join mom in Arizona. I found this to be highly disappointing. At the time I felt that Mama and Daddy Walton would never leave their children behind to fend for themselves. Now I think I understand completely.