I have always dreamed of writing one of those beautiful Holiday letters. You know, the ones that tell all of the marvelous things that have happened throughout the year? Well, this is the year. The problem is, if I went into detail about all of the events in our lives, you would probably run screaming for the medicine cabinet for either a nausea remedy or something to combat depression.
So, rather than go into all of the details of our barn burning down, our daughters tragic automobile accident, month in the hospital, the ensuing thousands of miles driven to doctors appointments, the tragic loss of a friend’s son in Afghanistan, the death of two other dear friends to cancer, etc, etc, etc., I will tell you what I have learned in the past year.
I have learned that possessions are the least important things in my life. Losing everything in my barn was an inconvenience, not a tragedy. I have learned that insurance companies are not our friends, they are not on our side no matter how much you pay them.
I have learned that your life can change in a second. One minute you can be watering your flower beds, and the next minute racing to the scene of an accident. All of your plans can go right out the window, sidelined by the needs of someone else. I have learned that the love of friends and family can sustain you through the darkest moments. I have learned that having someone provide a home cooked meal for you means more than anything, and that a friend coming over and cleaning your bathroom can lift your spirits like nothing else can. I have learned on a whole new level that I am not in control of much of anything in my life. I have learned once again that love is not a feeling, it is an action, it’s what you do when things are really, really hard.
I have learned gratitude for the simplest joys in my life. I have learned to embrace the struggles of my own and those that I love. I have learned that loss is a tool for growth. Through our grieving we discover who we really are, what we are truly made of.
The Winter Solstice is a time for embracing the dark and rejoicing in a return to the light. In celebration of the cycles we all endure, I cherish the dark and frightening lessons which lead me to a more enlightened understanding of myself and my place in the world.
Exploring the depths of my being, hoping to shed light on the dark side of my soul.
